So sad... almost two months since my last blog entry. If anyone is still bothering to check my blog like my good friend Aaron, please don't give up, yet! It's not that I don't have more to write, it's just that I haven't found the time to do it. I am working on many blog entries and biblical studies in my mind, and I will find the time to write them down and publish them on my blog, if no where else. I guess I'm playing off a quote I've heard attributed to Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, "I have more music in my head than I'll ever be able to write down." For my birthday, back in March, I got Karl Barth's book on Mozart as well as a book titled Confessions of a Pastor by Craig Groeschel. I haven't read either of them yet!
I've made the big change to becoming a stay-at-home dad to better care for our boys and see to it that they get to school and always have a parent at home. Before this change, I worked a lot of hours at my transitional job to prepare for the loss of income. Since the change, well, I'm still learning the new rhythm of spending the days with my boys. Now maybe I'll find the time to read, to write and to blog.
The good news is that now I do have more time to preach, especially Sundays for pulpit supply or interim assignments. And, I'm very interested in speaking at Men's Retreats and other men's or pastors' events. I can speak frankly and biblically about the challenges men face today, sexual temptation, cybersex & pornography addiction and restoration/recovery for those who commit sexual sins. It is this part of my speaking ministry which I would really like to develop. I believe very strongly in God's astounding redemptive power and it's through speaking and preaching that I believe he will work redemptively toward bringing good from my fall from pastoral ministry. By God's mercy and grace, I am a different man today and I want to help any man I can from falling into moral failure as I did.
We are always surprised when prominent men fall deep into sexual sin, but I know it's not just politicians ruining their lives with secret sexual habits. So many men do not know how to escape the mess they find themselves in, even though many of them try so hard to find the way. John Edwards, who made the quality of his marriage a central part of his overall message during the 2008 Democratic primaries surprised us all last Friday when he admitted to having an extramarital affair, something he had denied until then. It's shame which keeps us from being honest about our sexual sins and keeps us from finding the help we need. So because of shame we keep it secret. The damned ironic thing about shame is that secrecy is actually what gives it its power over us. It seems to me that John Edwards may be coming out publicly now on this matter so that the secrecy of his wrongdoing and his denials about it don't ruin the life he's been able to rebuild for himself since coming clean with his wife in 2006 about this affair. I hope he's able to do it, because I believe that by God's grace, there can be life, good life, even after sexual sin.